Thank you so much for your response. You’re absolutely right about the importance of not keeping secrets from my therapist. Fear of abandonment seems to be an appropriate topic to bring up in therapy, after all.

Thanks for your comment! The end of therapy is called termination and it’s ultimately up to the client as to when that happens. Short of the counselor retiring or taking on another job, they’ll usually see you as long as it is clinically appropriate. I suggest you bring up your concerns. Your therapist is the last person you want to keep secrets from!

I’ve been seeing a therapist for about a year and a half. He is the best ally I’ve found in my journey to self-improvement thus far. I know that therapy isn’t meant to last forever, but there’s still so much I need to work on, that just the thought of putting an end to our sessions makes me panic a little. I don’t deal with endings very well. How should I approach this in therapy? I’m afraid that if I bring it up, it will inevitably bring about some sort of plan to end therapy. I’m not ready for that!

Thank you for your comment. There’s a lot to unpack here. First, I’d say congratulations. If therapy was the worst experience of your adult life, then you have led an amazing, safe, and uneventful life thus far. Or, perhaps you are just given to hyperbole. More importantly, perhaps you struggle with an external locus of control, meaning you seem to perceive that you are not the one in control of your life, AEB your eagerness to blame your therapist for poor results. People get what they put into therapy, and if someone expects a therapist to change them, or to do all or even most of the work, they are certain to be disappointed. This is like blaming the gym if you don’t build muscle. One has to do the work. My suggestion is to find a therapist who will do more than say “I don’t know” and have the courage to call you out on your stuff. Perhaps then you would have a more fulfilling experience. Of course, therapy isn’t for everyone. For example, people who suffer from ASPD rarely benefit from it, as their knee-jerk reaction to everything is to blame everyone else rather than take personal responsibility for their own lives. So, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Best of luck to you in your journey.

Welcome aboard!